Step One: A Weight off my Shoulders

So if you read the about page, you noticed several references to me being a long-haired girl. I’ve had long hair as far back as I can remember, save a small incident before picture day junior year of high school. And I mean LONG hair, like down to the small of my back.

It’s always been fairly thin and goes up into a bun or short pony tail well and most people didn’t even realize how long my hair was. That pony tail would hide well under a hat, or nuzzle itself into the hood of a hoodie and even with long hair, I would occasionally be mistaken for a boy. For the record, I’m 6’0″ tall, 218lbs. I’m physically built like a boy. Broad shoulders, narrow hips, huge hands.

One day, after years of alternating between confident and strong and depressed and confused, I realized I needed to make a change. I realized that I was no longer the person that I used to be. I realized I loved it when people accidentally called me sir or even when people weren’t sure what to call me. I talked everything over with my fiancee, the doubts, fears, pros and cons. We decided that before making any drastic changes, the first thing that had to go was the hair.

She assured me that my head was “square enough” to sport the shorter hair, which has now been clarified to mean that I have a strong, masculine jawline and do not risk looking waifish or like a fairy with short hair. We went to a friend who suggested that after so many years with long hair, I might be less traumatized by shortening it, but not quite so short as I wanted. We tried, I hated it and he cut it off.

It’s certainly been a difference. Currently my hair is no more than 3-4 inches long. I get called sir more often than ma’am as long as I’m not already talking and I feel more confident. My fiancee says I look more like a boy, though I wish she’d take to calling me handsome rather than cute. And as much confidence as just a simple hair cut has given me, I wonder if I’m not ready for the next step. What is the next step? I have no idea.

Suggestions for not having a girly voice are certainly welcome.

Until next time,

Ty

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