I hate labels. I have having to think of myself as male or female, cis or trans, gay or straight…. and all for the sake of people that aren’t me needing to identify me properly.
Why do I need to narrow myself down to a bisexual trans boy just because I’m not sure that others will feel comfortable otherwise.
The truth: I’m physically female, but I’m unhappy in my body. I don’t want bottom surgery, but I’m not convinced these boobs are useful or necessary. I am attracted to the physical structure of both men and women, though I’m uncertain if my attraction to the male physique is sexually-based or jealousy-based. I am in love with the way guys look, their muscles the way their arms bulk out. Most of the men I find attractive are absolute giants. J.J. Watt, for example.
The women are basically the exact opposite of that. Short, girly and everything feminine. So if I’m attracted to men as an ideal, does that really make me bisexual? I don’t know. But I have to do a whole lot less explaining when I go all gaga over J.J.’s arms if people think of me as bisexual.
So there you have it: explanation about why I’m not any of the things I say I am. And not really a liar either. I have to know…. does anyone else hate labels this much? My fiancee doesn’t entirely understand and I have to know if this is just a me being weird thing.
Until next time,