New Year’s Resolutions

So I know I’d mentioned before that my goal was to be officially out (except at work) by New Year’s. Good news – Mission accomplished. The big surprise, no one flipped out. Everyone is really trying to be super supportive and actually trying very hard to call me Tyler and to use the correct pronouns – even my friends’ parents. My dad was a little upset, but still said he loved me and supported me no matter what and that he and his wife want me to be happy, so that was really refreshing.

I think the biggest surprise for me in all of this has been my little brother though. He’s always been his own kind of supportive. We grew up as best frienemies, you know? We’d make fun of each other relentlessly and then punch that other kid for saying the same thing. But through all of this, he’s really been awesome. He’s been showing his 2 year old son pictures of me and trying to get him to call me Uncle Tyler instead of Aunt Sissy. This resulted in a positively adorable video of my nephew saying “Uppy Tyler”, which, in case you were wondering is the best way to pronounce uncle ever.

I’m still trying to find more resources for my dad. I feel like he’d really benefit from seeing what other parents have gone though and how they’ve come to accept it. I know it will take him time, but I’d really like to try to help him with that.

I’m not looking forward to going back to the gym Monday. Stupid New Years Resolutioners taking over my gym space. I decided to do something a little different to better myself in 2015. I’m trying to find ways to get involved in the community.I never really realized all the supportive people I have in my life and I feel like I’ve taken them for granted. I told a friend this weekend that sometimes I feel like things are getting better for us (and they are, but I get a little too optimistic sometimes) and something like the tragedy with Leelah happens and I’m reminded that I have spent the last 10 years surrounding myself with amazing, supportive, loving people and I’ve had the freedom to remove people when they don’t fit that need. So many people don’t have that in their lives yet, and too many end it before they realize how good it can get.

I don’t live too far from Philly, so I feel like there should be plenty of opportunities – like a Big Brothers Big Sisters program for gay and trans kids, but I’d really like to find something closer to home. Even my local PLFAG chapter is kind of rundown and not so good. Maybe I can start there though. Or maybe I can start something new. I feel like the problems with programs like that are that the kids that really have access to them are the kids whose parents already accept them, but understand that they might need to talk to someone that isn’t mom and dad. I want to find the kids that don’t have that. I want them to really be able to see that it gets better and that no matter what’s going on in their lives now, if they surround themselves with wonderful people that see their true beauty, then it’ll be ok. So many kids just need that in their lives. Some kids don’t even realize how much their parents love them and they’re so scared to come out and for no reason. How do I find them? How do I find the kids that have never had someone hug them from a place of truly unconditional love? I welcome suggestions from anyone who has them. I’m at a loss for where to start and there is so much information on the Internet that sometimes it’s just too much.

Until next time,




2 thoughts on “New Year’s Resolutions”

  1. So pleased to hear its gone ok, being a parent it takes a while to understand and accept, mine has certainly been a rollercoaster of emotions but with love you get there!

  2. I love this! I have had the general attitude that I just want to live my life and not be involved in any kind of “Trans movement” but also recently read about Leelah and got pretty pissed about it. I have incredibly supportive family and friends that I also took for granted and I started blogging as a way to let others know they are not alone in this struggle of finding their true selves.
    As a way to reach out, have you looked into the local school system? I am not sure how comfortable you are there, but that may be a starting point. You mentioned a local PFLAG chapter, but sounds like it could use some help, and that may be the best place to get the ball rolling.

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