So I had my endocrinologist appointment today.
Wait wait…. let me back track a little. I went to the DMV this morning to change the address on my registration and was in and out in ten minutes. I had to check 4 times while I was outside that the address had actually changed and that it was that easy. No one gets out of the DMV in ten minutes.
Then I had my endocrinologist appointment today at 2:30pm. I’m chronically early. My boss even makes fun of me for it. I was there at 1:50pm. I got checked in, signed the forms that they’re allowed to talk to Melissa about whatever. I went upstairs to the actual office. I checked in at that window too. Before I even sit down the nurse says, “Are you Christina?” So i follow her back. She says “you’re here for testosterone, right?” “Yeah….” She looks kind of frantically at some paperwork in her hand. It was a physician schedule, not my chart. “Okay”, she says, “have a seat and we’ll be with you shortly” and she walks me back to the waiting area.
My mind immediately went to the worst case scenario. So close and yet so far. Shit. I spent the next 5 minutes trying to remind myself that my therapist said her other client came here. It’ll be ok.
Finally the same frantic nurse comes to get me. Frantic seems to be her default setting. She checks my height, weight and blood pressure. Blood pressure was 136/80… Really high for me. She then explained that the endocrinologist I had originally been placed with was a diabetes specialist and didn’t feel comfortable prescribing testosterone, so they squeezed me in with their testosterone specialist. Oh… well you know you could have led with that and maybe you would’ve gotten a more accurate blood pressure reading.
So we wander into the patient room and she asks me all the pertinents… any smoking, drinking, recreational drugs, asked if I took any prescription medications I failed to write down. It was the first time I’ve been to a doctor’s office that didn’t ask me if I was pregnant…haha. Frantic nurse left and I waited anxiously for the doctor. He walked in and I was pretty sure I I was going to die. He looked like a 50-year-old version of a good friend of mine. It was instantly comforting. He took care of the “easy” part first, looked over my thyroid ultrasound and said that he agrees with my primary doctor that the thyroid doesn’t seem to be an urgent concern, but is definitely something we want to keep an eye on.
Then he just said “so tell me what you’re hoping to get out of me here.” So I told him. He explained that he’s had issues before where people want him to prescribe a high dose to get where they’re going faster. I told him that I understand it’s a gradual process and that it’ll take time, but that I want to do it safely and appropriately. I don’t want to put myself into unneeded danger for this. Then he did the coolest thing…. he wrote me a prescription. He didn’t care that I had been going to therapy. He told me to talk to his nurse about setting up an appointment with her to learn to self-inject. He wrote me an order for blood work again before our next appointment. And he told me we wants to see me in June. And that was that. I had my prescription. No one in the office was weird or uncomfortable. It just happened. Just like that.
So I left there feeling like I was having an out of body experience. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so simultaneously happy and scared (except when I proposed to Melissa…haha). I went to the pharmacy, the pharmacist glanced the prescriptions over, looked at me and said “it’ll be about 15 minutes”. 15 minutes later, I was handing my ID to the cashier… she looked at me, looked at my ID and said “what’s your relationship to Christina”…I laughed a little and said “that’s me”. And that was it. I got my ID back, paid, and walked out. And now I have a month’s supply of testosterone.
And now, I know I’m just being paranoid, but I’m just waiting for the other shoe to drop. I feel like it was all way too easy today. But like I said yesterday… now I have a time line for a difficult conversation at work. I have to call tomorrow for my IM training. I’m hoping they’ll be able to see me tomorrow before work. Melissa’s off work, too, so I’d like her to be able to know how to give it as well. I’ve spent most of my free time today figuring out how to talk to my boss. No luck on that yet, though I welcome suggestions. I have to make Melissa help me take some pre-T pictures, too. And probably record my voice, because that’s the thing I hate the most about me.
Anyhow, that’s all for today, I think. Next time I post it will (hopefully) be after my first dose of testosterone. Whoa!