Fridays from the Men’s Room

So for me, the scariest part of this transition so far aside from the whole coming out to…literally everyone…has been the transition into the men’s room. The worst part of it for me was the uncertainty. I knew what to expect in the women’s room. I knew what women did when they got changed to go to the gym, I knew what they chit-chatted about while they washed their hands.

But what did guys small talk about? Did they even small talk the way women do? Do they just run around the locker room naked? 

A few months ago, I posted some tips for changing locker rooms, but I’ve decided to kind of turn this into a regular sort of series. It’ll probably give me a little more impetus to blog regularly: something that I’ve been wanting to do. And I hope that an honest look at what goes on for real inside the men’s rooms will make people a little more comfortable when they decide to make the change.

I regret to inform you that it’s a fair bit more mundane than you’d expect, but I think that’s been part of my problem: I’ve been avoiding talking about the mundane and focusing on the changes when, really, that day-to-day drear is truly just part of this journey. It’s really what most of us are trying so hard to obtain: simplicity, regularity.

So I haven’t been to the gym much this week (sinus infections make working out hard), but my plan is to start this next Friday and to bring you guys all the drag details from the men’s room.

Until next time,



3 thoughts on “Fridays from the Men’s Room”

  1. Hey, I’ve recently starting going to the gym but I’m quite unsure what’s the best things for me to do, I really want to try and decrease my breast tissue but I want to loose weight before I bulk up with muscle. If you’ve got any tips on that, it would be greatly appreciated! Other than that, go you! I am no where near ready to go into the mens changing room!

    1. From my experience, the best/easiest way to lose weight at the gym is actually to start trying to put on muscle. Muscle mass weighs more than fat mass, but it burns more calories even when at rest, so it’s better for building a long-term metabolism. Something that most people do that kind of sabotages their weight loss is actually restrict calories too much. You don’t want to have a net of less than about 1700 calories/day, more if you’re trying to gain muscle. If you get less than that, your body just sort of assumes you’re starving and starts storing as much as possible, resulting in more fat gains, or a at least no loss.

      High protein/fiber diets keep you feeling fuller longer and I usually try to keep my carbs to complex carbs (whole grains, etc) and keep the simple carbs to a minimum (cut sodas, candy, simple sugars)…though I’ll admit at this time of the year I’m miserable at keeping away from candy.

      As far as what exercises to do: I usually stick to multi-joint complex exercises – squats, overhead lifts, bench press, etc. Something that I’ve found that works well for me is to mix up m routine every couple of weeks. My current routine includes a couple of warm-up reps at a low weight, some pre-exhaustion of some of the peripheral muscles so that my full-weight routine can more easily target the larger muscle groups, and then full-weight reps to failure. A lot of people tend to focus on small muscles like the biceps or triceps and they come along naturally and are used as peripheral muscles in a lot of complex lifts: an overhead lift focuses on the deltoids, but the triceps will feel quite a burn after a few heavy lifts, too and a seated cable row focuses on the lats, but the biceps see quite a bit of action, too. So I use a simple bicep curl or tricep extension to pre-exhaust those muscles a little so the lats or the deltoids have to do more work on the complex exercises.

      My last tip (for now, though this would be a great topic for a longer blog post) is intensity. Do fewer reps of higher weights to really build muscle up and burn more fat. Lower intensity exercises make your body think you’re trying to endurance train and it tends to conserve energy and nutrients to allow you to do low weights for a long time without really increasing muscle mass. It’ll actually slow down your overall metabolism to do this. I usually try to stick to 10-12 reps for upperbody work and 12-15 for lowerbody and core work. For cardio: interval training is great for burning fat and avoiding excess fatigue and some studies (though I’ll admit I’ve read some conflicting ones as well) show that it’s better at helping boost the metabolism long-term.

      The most important thing is to give a routine time to work – at least 4 weeks – and be consistent. If you’re not happy with where you’re headed, then change it. Find what works for you and don’t be afraid to experiment. Remember than when you’re overweight, you lose weight faster at first and you slow down as you start to approach your goal weight, which can be frustrating. Most doctors consider sustained weight loss of more than 2lbs (about 1kg) per week unsafe. If there’s any other advise you’d like, let me know and I’ll do my best. Happy lifting.

      1. Thanks so much, that’s super helpful! I really appreciate everything there and that’s actually made me realise I have got quite a few things to change at the gym! Thanks you so much!

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