Fridays from The Men’s Room – 01/29/2016

Monday – There were like 10 people here. Maybe it has to do with the 30″ of snow outside. Most of the conversation was small talk about whether or not we all got dug out of the snow. Something that continues to surprise me is how much more general small talk goes on in the men’s room than ever did in the women’s room. Women are very much get in, get out. I don’t really remember ever hearing women talking in the locker room.

Tuesday – I came at an odd time because I had my preop (!) appointment this morning. There were only a hand full of people there. This time I was the guy that was caught singing embarrassingly (One Direction) in the locker room. Fortunately this didn’t even get me as much as a sideways glance.

Thursday – “Can’t Touch This”. Seriously the men’s room is basically an underwear-clad singing montage. The guys sing way more than the girls even talked.

Friday – Not 100% certain if it’s depression or exhaustion kicking in, but my body told me I needed to skip today, so I did.

Be the Best Gym Bro You can Be

Getting started at the gym is a bitch. There’s the looking like you’re new and don’t know what you’re doing. There’s the actually not knowing what you’re doing. And then for us trans* people there’s the added stress of “which locker room”…”are they looking at me?”

I’m no fitness expert by any means, but I’d like to do what I can to help other people to survive their first trip to the gym.  Continue reading Be the Best Gym Bro You can Be

Fridays from the Men’s Room: 01/15/2016

Monday – Dead quiet today. Lots of newbies scrambling about, misusing equipment, but mostly quiet.

Tuesday – There’s a guy here that looks like Gru wearing a hoodie pulled down over his eyes a la Assassin’s Creed. Just his long pointy Gru nose sticking out. A regular in the locker room complained that all these new people were using all the lockers. It’s true – the only one left was broken. There was also a guy that was in the locker next to me. Rather than indicating that he was waiting for me to move, he stood and stared at me until I was done. Men would seriously rather stare at you until you move than say excuse me. Prepare yourself for this.

Thursday – Another quiet day with some more complaining by the regulars about the lack of lockers available. Pretty sure I sprained my pectoral muscle.

Friday – Half the locker room, myself included, got into a heated debate about how Russel Wilson never should have thrown the football on the 1 yard line to lose last year’s Super Bowl. Verdict is Marshawn Lynch should have carried it, but we also decided that everyone but Pete Carroll knew that.

Fridays from the Men’s Room: 01/08/2016

Monday – Skipped the gym today, but a little snippet from the break room at work today. Two guys talking about whether or not Carrie Fisher aged well: “Men look venerable. Women look old.” I put this here because I can’t help but feel like this wouldn’t have been said around a woman.

For the record…Carrie Fisher looks gorgeous, not that she needs my permission or approval.

Tuesday – Chock full of newbies, but not as busy as I had braced myself for.

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Maybe this has something to do with the slow day.

There were a few wild-eyed newbies scampering in and out of the locker room and I suddenly realized what I must have looked my when I first started going into the men’s room. I suddenly realized that to them, I was probably the same guy that I was afraid of for the first time I walked in: that muscle-y meat head that comes here all the time. Granted, scared for different reasons, but still.

The only thing of note conversation-wise was the guy loudly singing Gwen Stefani in a ball-crushing falsetto.

Fridays From the Men’s Room: 01/01/2016

Monday – Took a sick day. Stayed in bed. Was miserable. Not a good way to start the week.

Tuesday – It was crazy today as more and more people try to get a head start on their New Year’s Resolutions. Most of the conversation was your standard pleasantries “yo”, “sup”, “hey” and the like. But then this one guy walks up to me and a third guy – all of us in our underwear – “So I noticed you guys shower without flip flops”. In my head I’m like “guilty” (don’t judge me….several studies have shown that properly cleaned showers are no more likely to give you diseases than running barefoot through the grass and as often as those bathrooms reek of bleach…I’ll live…anyhow…). Now every time this guy talks, he talks about how he’s been at this gym since the beginning. So then he starts “now I’ve been here since the beginning. I’m probably the first membership they’ve ever sold. And let me tell you, I’ve seen some shit in those showers. No literally…people poop in there!” That guy.