Fridays from the Men’s Room – 01/22/2016

Gonna preface this with a “warning” of sorts – this was a fun and eventful week in male-only areas…

Monday – Not really in the locker room, but I watched on the older regulars interrupt a woman’s workout twice to see how much longer she’d be. She’s a regular, too, and stacked for a woman. (To clarify, women don’t bulk up the way men do, so when I say stacked “for a woman”, I don’t mean this in a sexist way, I mean that she has an amazing amount of muscle definition that that women don’t typically achieve due to estrogen). She finally got tired of his interruptions and moved on to a different part of her routine and came back after he was done. I was using the same machine at the same time and he didn’t interrupt me. Male privilege, eh? Also, he used it to do partial ROM triceps extensions, so it’s not like she gave it up for him to do something useful either. Life lesson: if you’re at the gym wait your turn.

At work, we share the bathrooms with an engineering firm across the hall. Monday is a holiday, but because we’re in healthcare, we’re still at work…and apparently so are a couple of the engineers.

Guy 1: Hey *name* what are you doing here today.

Guy 2: I’m here til 1pm. I’d rather take a needle in the eye.

G1: Oh. Well I have a question…if a car was travelling at the speed of light…

G2: It can’t.

G1: …would it do anything to turn the headlights on?

G2: No.

G1: Well…now we can say we had a conversation.

G2: Yeah. Subject. Predicate. Conclusion. *walks out of the bathroom*

G1: Looks at me…

Me: Shrug.

Tuesday – I walk into the middle of a rowdy conversation. with one of the regulars, I call him Sarge in my head because he has a very military-like appearance, but he’s really laid back, liberal and talks about taking care of his mom a lot. He asks the openly gay guy in the locker room about his boyfriend…I consider this guy a potential ally if shit ever hit the fan for me. Today, he’s heckling Malcom…another of the older regulars. I’m not sure what about, but the conversation ends with “and then the next thing you know, your prostate is twice the size it was when you were twenty, you either can’t stop peeing or you can’t start and you’re just yelling at yourself going ‘pee damn it! pee!’…” Then Malcom looks at me and says with a laugh “don’t get an old prostate, kid. It sucks.” o_O

Thursday – Surprisingly quiet.

Friday – Mayhem in here. One of the older regulars was imparting some kind of wisdom on one of the younger kids. The younger guy looked like he was hard on his luck. The older guy told him that heals all wounds and that i’ll get better. It was really sweet and not at all what you’d expect in a men’s room. They were both in their underwear, so I guess that tempers expectations. Then we joked about this. For reference, I live solidly in the orange. Very…very solidly. So if  you don’t hear from me, it’s because I don’t have electricity in my new igloo.



2 thoughts on “Fridays from the Men’s Room – 01/22/2016”

  1. I try not to work out during prime time, but when someone asks me how many more sets I have on a bench (they always ask me first), I say twelve and then hog the bench until they give up waiting. I’ll change up my workout just for spite.
    On the other hand, I have an acceptable alternative for every exercise incase I can’t get immediate access to what I want.

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