I feel like I’ve started 100 posts about this lately and nothing seems to quite say what I want to say. But I’m going to commit myself to this one, for better or worse. I know people are probably interested in updates about my top surgery, or my transition, and I’ll get to those. I just feel like I need to get my two cents about this whole bathroom argument out, speak my peace and move on.
Melissa and I have a bit of a tradition. Instead of getting out nieces and nephews some gift that they’ll break, misplace or outgrow for Christmas, we take them somewhere every year. They told us this year that it’s become something that they look forward to each year and that they always wonder where we’ll go next. It’s a big group of kids, so we do two separate trips, one for the older kids (17, 14, 13, and 11) and one for the younger kids (6, and three 4 year olds).
So last time in therapy I was asked to do a little homework for next session: write about how Tyler feels looking at the world though Christina’s eyes, and failing that, introduce Tyler. I spend a little time moping and whining about this and then finally set my feet and got to work. I wasn’t moping or whining because I didn’t want to do it, but rather because Tyler and Christina are not distinct people or personalities. I’ve searched for years for the crevice between the two, hoping to find “Tyler” and hide him away forever and finally rid myself of these insecurities for good. The problem is, I’m not two people trapped in one body. The issue is that I’m one person, trapped in the wrong body. Tyler is not some presence trapped away inside of me, watching me live my life. He is me. And I’ve been living my life though my own eyes for…ehhh…almost 28 years. Continue reading Pink-Tinted Glasses
Have I mentioned lately that I hate labels? I have? Good. I’m going to do it again.
I hate labels. Continue reading Here We Go With That Label Complaint Again…
So I know I’d mentioned before that my goal was to be officially out (except at work) by New Year’s. Good news – Mission accomplished. The big surprise, no one flipped out. Everyone is really trying to be super supportive and actually trying very hard to call me Tyler and to use the correct pronouns – even my friends’ parents. My dad was a little upset, but still said he loved me and supported me no matter what and that he and his wife want me to be happy, so that was really refreshing. Continue reading New Year’s Resolutions
I don’t get political or outspoken much. I don’t really care for “sticking it to the man” and until recently, I haven’t really felt like activism or even rally-crying is my place. But after years of thinking and searching my soul, I’m finally starting to figure out my place it the world. And now it’s time to step up and take it…
We hear it all the time. “Just because I’m trans doesn’t mean it’s my responsibility to educate society about transgender life.” You can swap out trans for any number of issues – homosexuality, mental illness or even safe sex. Continue reading I am Tyler, Hear me Roar
So I made it home from Florida. Lame. Well, lame that I’m home, not lame that I made it. My nephew is officially adorable. He’s two now, walking and talking and potty training and catching balls like a rockstar. And he thinks I’m awesome. But I digress.
I didn’t really talk to my younger brother explicitly about everything, but like I said before, my fiancee talked to my sister-in-law. I didn’t really feel like I needed to talk to him about it specifically. Fiancee also talked to her family – we decided it was more her place than mine to talk to them. She told her mom that she wanted to talk to her about something serious. Her mom’s first reaction? “Are you pregnant!?” But apparently, after the initial pregnancy excitement, she was quite accepting, as were the fiancee’s sisters. That’s exciting. They offered to buy me a binder for Christmas, which I politely declined as it felt a little too like receiving underwear from your in-laws. But I did appreciate the gesture. They said they were trying to be “supportive” – bad pun intended. Oof. Continue reading Updates: Coming Home and Coming Out